Hey guys! My "The Awkward Person's Guide to Family Gatherings" post really went well, so I figured I'd continue my painful attempts at being funny. This post will give scenarios you might encounter where you'll need a great ~ or extremely confusing ~ excuse to avoid them. I hope it's at least slightly entertaining/helpful!
The Awkward Person's Guide to Excuses
Parent: Why haven't you done your homework?
Your Response: The voices in my head tell me I don't have to. *Look your mom/dad right in the eyes* And you don't want to make the voices mad. (They will never bug you about your homework again, but you might have to visit a special place once a week from then on.)
Neighbor: Will you mow my lawn for me?
Your Response: I would love to, but I'm not allowed around lawn mowers. Not since the... accident. *Burst into tears and yell, "WHY GRAMMY, WHY?!"*
Teacher: You need to start staying after school for tutoring. Your grades have fallen significantly.
Your Response: ...are you hitting on me right now? *Wink seductively* (That poor teacher will never bother you again.)
Parent: Where did you go last night? I heard from someone you went to a party.
Your Response: *Laugh hysterically because you and your parents both know that you were in your room the whole night crying over a book character that died.*
Doctor: You've gained 10 pounds. I thought you said you were eating better?
Your Response(If a girl): I'M SO SORRY I'M FAT AND NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU. I JUST CAN'T, LIKE, DEAL WITH YOUR JUDGEMENT RIGHT NOW. *Make a dramatic exit*
**Sorry for the short post guys! I'll be adding to it later in a separate post. I'm short on time today! Comment your thoughts?**
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