Snow Is Evil

  So guys, I've been bad. I haven't been posting regularly, and I feel horrible about it. I'm really sorry. But I am going to get better. So for today(more like tonight), I thought I'd tell you what is going on in my life at the moment.

  As you all know, I joined the track team. Practice has been going really well, and I think I might be a good runner. I really do. I've kept up with all of the beat runners in practice(all three practices, I know, so hardcore). Also, I've decided on 3/4 of what events I want to compete in. I want to do the 100m, the relay race, and the long jump. I think. I'm not exactly sure what I'm best in yet. So the list might change.

  As I'm sure many of you can relate to, I haven't been to school in awhile due to snow. I love the break, but I hate not being able to go to track practice, ya know?

  **Very sorry for the boring post. I will pick up the regular routien soon. Also, this post is being made from the Blogger app, so I'm not sure how it will look. Sorry, again.**

Winter Olympics!

  If you guys are like me, you have been extremely happy the past few days. Why? Because the Olympics are on! Winter Olympics that is. Now, personally, I like the Summer Olympics much better, but I love the Olympics period. 

  I love the fact that whole nations stand behind their athletes and cheer for them. I could only imagine how awesome that must feel. 

  Also, I am always in awe of how much work goes into getting the athletes to the Olympics. Countless number of hours practicing is a given when it comes to Olympics athletes. They commit their whole life to sports, and I respect that greatly. It truly encourages me to put my everything into what I love. 

  Another thing I wanted to talk about is something I saw on an Olympic Zone show. It was about how one of the athletes that got a gold medal had a brother who had a degenerative disease that took away his ability to do any type of sport. At one point, the athlete said something along the lines of, "If my brother was well, he'd have three gold medals." I cannot even begin to express how deeply this moved/motivated me. I have a healthy body. I am lucky enough to have the privilege to play and compete in a sport. (I recently joined the track team.) And that guy, who wants nothing more than to be able to compete, can't. So I took it as my responsibility to do as much as I can to be the best athlete I can be. It's not fair if I do anything less than that.  

 **So, guys. I want to know if any of you have gained/learned anything from the Olympic? I gained motivation. (So sorry for the two day absence.)**

A Revelation

  Today, I realized something very profound. I have been to Alaska two times. The first time, I was not very tan or "brown" because it was very cloudy and not sunny at all. The second time, I got very dark (in my standards) because it was a very, very sunny year for Alaska. You see, I'm part American Indian. Most of the year, you can barely tell, but in the summer, when I'm outside a lot, I get very tan.

  So on the way back from Alaska the second time, when I was very dark, I was "randomly" searched. By this I mean I was singled out of a long line and every single bit of my luggage was checked. No pocket was left unopened. I thought nothing of it at the time, but today, 6 months later, I got to thinking. I've been on 12 flights in my 16 years, and I have only been searched the one time I was darker than average.

  Now I know this could be just a coincidence, but it still has me shocked. It's one thing to hear about racial profiling, but it's another to be on the receiving end of it. I have a new look on this subject. I truly do. 

**Sorry for the short post guys! I really wanted to share this story with you. It's short but profound to me.**

Morgan's Lullaby: Part 3

     The next time Morgan opens her eyes, she is in a dark hospital room. She looks around to see what's going on. She only has a vague memory of the night before: when she took the pills. It is more like a bad dream in here mind than a true memory. 

 "No. No. No," Morgan thinks to herself, "This isn't happening to me." 

   She becomes aware of all of the different tubes attached to her body. Was she really in this bad of shape? Why did they save her? "They should have let me die," Morgan thinks furiously. A sudden urge to run down the halls of this sleeping hospital and escape overwhelms her. The last thing she wants to do is deal with her family.

  Morgan once again looks at her surroundings. This time, she notices things she hadn't seen before. There are flowers of all types littering the room. 

  "Where could those have come from?" She thinks to herself. 

  She assumes they must have been from the previous patient. There is no way they came for her. While thinking about the flowers, Morgan falls asleep and doesn't awaken until the morning. 

  "Why would she do this," she hears her mother saying. Morgan isn't sure who her mom is talking to, but she doesn't dare open her eyes. "I have no idea," she recognizes this voice. Her mom is talking to her father. "We've always known she was a little... off," her dad shoots. This sets Morgan off. 

  "How dare you?!," Morgan hisses, "I'm off? I'm normal for having such shitty parents!" 

  A deafening quiet falls on the room broken only by the sound of the machines monitoring Morgan's pulse. "We didn't know you were awake," her mom says. "Well I was," Morgan shoots back. With this, her parents leave without another word. 

   "This is going to be rough," Morgan thinks as she closes her eyes, "oh well." 

I'm a Terrible Person

    I am so ashamed that I'm having a hard time even writing this post. I CAN'T seem to make myself write what I'm supposed to write on the right days. I did not finish Morgan's Lullaby: Part Three for today. I will have it up tomorrow, like always. I'm so sorry. It will be up tomorrow. It will. 

Update!

  This is an add on from my "My Struggle's" post. I wasn't going to add on, but something of interest happened today. I joined the track team! Shocking right? I just... went for it. Conditioning starts tomorrow after school, and I couldn't be more excited. Maybe I won't be great, maybe I won't rank, but this is a pretty big achievement for me. I'm going to give it my all and hope that's enough.

 I'm sorry if you guys don't enjoy my little personal rants. I just need to let some things out. Everyone does. I want this blog to be like a conversation between you guys and me. Hopefully you all like it. I try my best to put out personable material that you guys will like. Thanks for all of the support! :) Here's a picture of a puppy for the people who hated this post.  

Hump Day How-To (Entry 3)

  Hey guys! Today I'm pretty sick and had to use a sick day for school. So I figured I'd write about how to have a proper sick day. It's more important than you would think!

Step 1: Get as many blankets as you can. Blankets are an important part of a sick day because, if you're like me, you will be leaving your bed as little as possible. 

Step 2: Gather all of the medicine you're going to need. Cough syrup, cough drops, the works. Better to round them up first thing because you'll be looking for them later, trust me!

Step 3: Get a box of tissues because you will definitely be needing them. 

Step 4: Get a lot of things that will keep you entertained. iPods, books, movies, laptops, any and everything. Between sleeping, you're gonna need something to do.  

Step 5: Get a lot of water in reach. It's important to stay hydrated especially if you have a fever!

Step 6: Shut out the world. By this, I mean lose the phone. Focus on getting better, not other people. As hard as that sounds, it helps a lot. 

**Hope this helps you guys out! Today, I really had to put it to use, and it works!!! What are your guy's sick day rituals?**

My Struggles (Entry 3)

   This week I am only going to be talking about one struggle: taking a chance. So I am a pretty athletic person, but I have never played on a sports team. Ever. Why? Because I am so extremely self-conscious and worried about everything. Several different coaches have come to me trying to convince me to play a variety of sports, but I have always backed out. I'm just always so worried about not being good enough. Does that make sense? Also, I'm worried about not being able to make friends. I don't really hang out with the "jocks," so I don't know if I'd fit in on a team. (I know. I sound like a whiny 5-year-old.)  
 
    Amongst all of this doubt lies the want to play an "official" sport before I get out of high school. (I'm a Sophomore.) I don't want to look back and regret not doing something that I might have loved. 


   I have come extremely close to joining the soccer and track team before, but right when I decided I wanted to join, it was too late. Either the team was full or the tryouts were over. This brings me to this particular week's struggle. I have the opportunity to join the tennis team. The team, frankly, isn't any good, so I don't have to worry about not being a great player. That's a plus. But then there is the main problem I'm facing. Tennis, ESPECIALLY is my school, is considered a "girls' sport." I just don't know if I want to add another item to the list of reasons why I'm weird, you know? 

   To finish this off, I have decided to play. I think. I am going to check out the details and everything; hopefully it all goes well, and I will finally play on a team. Who knows? Maybe I'll be good!

 **I hope this didn't bore anyone! I really needed to rant to get everything straight in my head. What are some struggles with taking risks that you guys have? I'd love to hear about them. Thanks everyone!**

The Awkward Person's Guide to Excuses

   Hey guys! My "The Awkward Person's Guide to Family Gatherings" post really went well, so I figured I'd continue my painful attempts at being funny. This post will give scenarios you might encounter where you'll need a great ~ or extremely confusing ~ excuse to avoid them. I hope it's at least slightly entertaining/helpful!

         The Awkward Person's Guide to Excuses

Parent: Why haven't you done your homework?

Your Response: The voices in my head tell me I don't have to. *Look your mom/dad right in the eyes* And you don't want to make the voices mad.  (They will never bug you about your homework again, but you might have to visit a special place once a week from then on.) 


Neighbor: Will you mow my lawn for me? 

Your Response: I would love to, but I'm not allowed around lawn mowers. Not since the... accident. *Burst into tears and yell, "WHY GRAMMY, WHY?!"* 


Teacher: You need to start staying after school for tutoring. Your grades have fallen significantly. 

Your Response: ...are you hitting on me right now? *Wink seductively* (That poor teacher will never bother you again.)


Parent: Where did you go last night? I heard from someone you went to a party. 

Your Response: *Laugh hysterically because you and your parents both know that you were in your room the whole night crying over a book character that died.*



Doctor: You've gained 10 pounds. I thought you said you were eating better? 

Your Response(If a girl): I'M SO SORRY I'M FAT AND NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU. I JUST CAN'T, LIKE, DEAL WITH YOUR JUDGEMENT RIGHT NOW. *Make a dramatic exit* 

**Sorry for the short post guys! I'll be adding to it later in a separate post. I'm short on time today! Comment your thoughts?** 

Australia!

  So I got no comments on the last post(come on guys!), so I had to use the only comment I've had. It's from Talie Anne on my "Top 5 Dream Destinations" post. In her comment, she mentions her liking of Australia! So shout-out to Talie Anne; thank you for contributing! Here are 5 amazing pictures of Australia! Hope you guys like. 

Morgan's Lullaby: Part Two

   At 6:30 A.M., Morgan's phone starts to vibrate: time to get ready for school. For a brief moment, she considers skipping school, but the only thing worse to her than a building full of teenage assholes is a house full of fake family members. She throws herself out of bed with a grunt and proceeds with her daily routine. Shower, clothes, make-up, breakfast, bus. Not once does she see even a trace of her family, not that she normally does. Her little brother doesn't attend school yet, and both of her parents start work late in the day. Morgan is used to solitary mornings. She actually enjoys them; they are a comforting time period where she has zero distractions.
   
   The school day goes by in a blur. Morgan doesn't talk to anyone nor does anyone talk to her. She has never felt so publicly alone. The only objectives on her mind are to keep her head down and not let anyone know something is wrong. Once home, she hurries to her bedroom, locks the door, and closes the blinds. She doesn't want to see her family and have to fake being happy like she always does. Morgan can lie to anyone, but it hurts having to lie to her parents, even if they are inconsiderate jerks.

   By the end of the day, Morgan is worn out. All she can think about is the sweet escape of sleep, but she knows that sleep is not achievable in her current state. Night is when the memories attack, gnawing at her sanity. Normally, she is strong enough to fight them off, but not tonight. Tonight, Morgan is as defenseless as a newborn antelope on the African plain. She must be cautious, for she can be easily over taken by any malicious, bitter-sweet memory lurking in the depths of her mind. All of these things Morgan knows.
  
  "But how," Morgan thinks to herself, "can I escape this hell? This unrelenting pain?" 

   Then, without warning, a memory attacks. It rips at her with unanticipated strength. It is the memory of the first time Morgan saw her Nana sick, with obvious pain painted on her face. "Oh honey, I'm fine," her Nana had said, "Nana will be OK. I won't leave you." Morgan remembers clinging to this promise frivolously, praying for her Nana to stay with her. 

    As this memory slices through Morgan like a machete, hot tears begin to stream down her face. "I can't handle this," she screams in her mind, "I can't. I can't. I can't!"  Suddenly, a wave of calm engulfs her. She has concocted an escape. Her mother keeps a large bottle of sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet, and Morgan could easily sneak them into her room. "Can I really do this," she asks herself already knowing the answer. Yes, she could. Nothing is keeping her attached to this life anymore. What does she have to live for? To hope for? Her family is detached, she is horrifyingly awkward, and the only person that ever truly loved her is dead. 

  Morgan gets out from under her blankets and makes almost the same trek she had made the night before, but instead of turning  into her parents room, she turns into the bathroom. She turns on the lights and is shocked at what she looks like under the harsh, florescent lights. Her eyes are an unnatural shade of red and her skin is taunt from dried tears. Unable to look at herself any longer, Morgan pulls open the medicine cabinet and grabs the bottle of sleeping pills. Quickly, she stuffs them into her pocket and runs back to her room.   

  Once back in the safety of her room, a weird though crosses Morgan's mind. Should she write a suicide note? She'd never considered it before. She almost laughs at the idea of her parents finding the note next to her lifeless body. Would they pretend to be sad or show their relief that they don't have to deal with her anymore? She decides she could care less. "They don't deserve a suicide note," Morgan thinks bitterly, "They don't deserve closure!" With that, she thrusts a handful of irregularly shaped sleeping pills into her mouth and swallows. They take hold of her body quickly. Soon, she falls into a deep sleep, with her Nana's voice echoing in her mind saying, "I won't leave you, honey. I love you." 

    **Hey guys! That was Morgan's Lullaby: Part Two! I hope you liked it. There will be a part three, so get ready for that! It will be posted next Friday for "Fictional Friday." Although this isn't the last addition to the Morgan's Lullaby series, I thought I should explain my reasons behind writing it. I am writing this series to tell a story you guys might relate to and to tell you guys that if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or anything like that, reach out to someone. Talk to someone about your problems. Anything. Just don't act on any bad thoughts. People do love you and care about your well-being. I have had bad thoughts before, trust me, but life does get better. You will find people that you care about and that care about you. I promise. I have never met you guys, but I care about you. So don't feel alone. Don't let negative thoughts prevail. If you can't find anyone else to talk to, and you are thinking about doing something bad, reach out to me. I'm extremely awkward and am bad at making people feel better, but I care. I hope this post can help someone out there. I really do. So thank you for reading it everyone!**