OK guys. I'm kinda springing something way different on you today. I said before that I wanted to add some fictional writing on here, but I never fully explained. Fridays will now be "Fictional Fridays." I know. The title is so tacky it's painful. I may change it in the future, but for now, it's adequate. And the blog's name IS "Genuine Awkwardness," so tacky, awkward titles are to be expected. Hopefully the content will be a little more substantial.
Morgan's Lullaby: Part One
The sunlight sneaks through the tree branches like prisoners escaping prison. Morgan just watches in amazement of the world she's in. She wonders why she never noticed her true surroundings before. In the past, she's only noticed the bad: bad friends, bad mom, bad brother, bad life. But now, sitting underneath this ancient Oak tree in front of her house, Morgan can't think of a single flaw in her life. Sure she's experienced her fair share of heartbreak, but she now, in this moment, realizes she can't continue living in a bitter whirlwind. Suddenly, Morgan feels free. For the first time in two years, her heart doesn't contain the toxic hatred that she threw at anyone to even try and get close to her. You see, Morgan never built walls around her heart; she built a full-blown fortress. To fully understand why, we need to start at the beginning of the pain: when Morgan's Nana died.
It's 2 A.M. on a Thursday. Morgan wakes up to a frantic wailing. "N0! No! No!," a voice only vaguely resembling her mother's screams,"It can't be true. It can't!" Terrified, Morgan doesn't know what to do. Should she go check to see what's wrong, or should she just go back to sleep and pray this is a dream? The first of the two options wins out, and Morgan slowly climbs out of her bed to make her way down the long, dark hallway. The rapidness of her breathing suddenly becomes painfully noticeable. She tries to force herself to calm down, but of course, she can't.
As Morgan takes baby-step after baby-step towards her parent's room, she realizes that the hideous shouts spewing from her mother have turned into muted sobs. Carefully, Morgan turns the corner into her parent's room only to find her mother sprawled out on the bed with her dad vacantly trying to console her. Never before has Morgan seen such vulnerability from her parents. She stands with a mixer of numerous emotions welling inside her mind. Her dad is the first to notice Morgan's presence. He shoots up with surprising agility and blankly says, "Honey, go back to bed." This type of vague, unexplained statement is not nearly enough to get Morgan to do as she is told. She needs a true, raw explanation, so she does not move a muscle and simply stares emotionlessly back at her father.
By this time, Morgan's mother had sensed her daughter's presence and had recovered herself from the sprawled position. Morgan notes the shocking redness of her mother's eyes and wonders what could possibly cause her mother this much turmoil. "What happened?" she asks shocked by the weakness of her voice. "It's Nana, honey. She passed away," her mother says with equal weakness. A million thoughts flood Morgan's mind. Nana was her grandmother and sole supporter. How could she live without her? She feels her lungs suddenly thrust inward as she lets out a yelp more resembling an injured cat than a human. Tears break free from their reservoir and fight to escape from behind her eyes. They fall splashing around Morgan's feet like small explosions. She looks at her parents foolishly thinking they might come comfort her, hold her, love her. But, of course, they do nothing.
Morgan flees to her room and slams the door. She falls into her bed and lets the waves of grief crash into her. Knives made of memories stab her heart over and over, every time charring it into stone. Without realizing it, she begins to quietly hum the lullaby Nana had made for her when she was little. Morgan's Lullaby her Nana lovingly dubbed it. "We are strong, we are here, we are together..." Morgan sings before getting choked up. Again and again she tries to finish the song, but she just can't.
This torture continues for hours until Morgan feels the morning sun dance onto her skin. But it's too late for warmth. Cold, dark thoughts have replaced all feelings of comfort. She has been thrown into a sea of numbness. The last maddening traces of hope swim around in her mind bringing with them torture. They cause Morgan to have minute moments where she thinks, "Maybe Nana is OK. Maybe I'm OK." But then crushing reality sets in, and she sinks deeper into the sea of numbness.
**That's the first part of Morgan's Lullaby! I hope you guys liked it. Stories aren't my strong point, but I really enjoy this one. The following parts will be coming soon! Sorry for the depressing streak I've been on lately. Tell me what you think in the comments?**
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